Meet the parents.

For weeks, I had envisioned how the first time meeting the intended parents (IPs) would go over in my mind. We would shake hands. No, we would hug. But not for too long. I would probably be overly bubbly but also try to play it cool for Matt who would most certainly be sweating buckets of apprehension. We would have light conversation but not get too personal. We certainly never would discuss politics, religion, or any of those awkward topics. I wouldn’t say anything stupid… who am I kidding, of course I would say something stupid. And when it came time for the bill, I would pretend as though I’m about to pay but knowing damn well that they are going to insist that they pay. I’d show immense gratitude, go in for another hug and that’s that.

Ok, let’s do this.

On Sunday we picked up the rental car reserved by the surrogacy agency. I listened to murder podcasts the entire way down which in retrospect DEFINITELY added to my heightened anxiety. Well that and the fact that Matt continued to remind me how much he did not want to be doing this. So yeah, the 5 hour car ride was a blast.

We stopped at this cutesy diner + used book store with a pretty blatant sign of “restrooms are for patrons only” that we both ignored. Come to find out later on, customers are able to take a book for free. What a cool concept! Maybe I should have grabbed one? Or that’s probably pushing it.

Sunday is for football…if you’re a Patriots fan that is. Which I am not. But relationships are about compromise right? And after all, Matt did take time off from work to accompany me on this unusual trip. So we stopped at the closest sports bar we could find and that happened to be Buffalo Wild Wings. A shitty food chain we actually have in our hometown which, by the way, I seriously despise eating at chain restaurants while traveling. You can take the couple out of New Hampshire but apparently you can’t take the New Hampshire out of the couple. But again, compromise. And yeah, Patriots won, thank God.

The parents made a reservation at Kawi, a new hip David Chang restaurant in the new Hudson Yards mall for 7:15PM. I kid you not we sat in Manhattan traffic for 30 minutes when all we needed to travel was less than 2 miles. I don’t know how New Yorkers do it. Mad props. Also, there were quite a few people dressed up in costume as weird creatures walking around the streets. And cops EVERYWHERE. We couldn’t tell if this was just New York on a typical day or the Comic Con was happening. (found out later that the Comic Con convention was this weekend)

We finally parked and stressed about all our stuff getting stolen in the car because why not add to our built-up nerves? We walked around a bit. Saw some tall buildings. Cool architecture. Expensive stores. Spent $34 on two shots. You know, New York City shit.

We arrived fashionably late to our meeting with the parents. They went in for a handshake but I had rehearsed a hug so we embraced awkwardly and sat down. I began talking way too fast and my glasses fogged up from being so hot. I looked over at Matt and saw beads of sweat streaming down his forehead. I really hope the parents aren’t noticing all of this, I thought.

Our conversations ranged from, "how did you meet?" (at a mixer - which is SO NYC) to “what TV shows do you like?” (they enjoy Game of Thrones and Golden Girls) to “are you hoping for a boy or girl?” (one of them said 'boy' since they were boys making it possibly easier but the other quickly pointed out, “we were gay boys, it’s different”). Religion was also brought up despite my intentions not to (one is Catholic) but we managed to avoid politics. They had a dry sense of humor which I liked and were very intellectual. The conversation seemed to flow well and Matt even contributed quite a bit. Inevitably, I did say my one stupid thing by asking if they lived near the Eiffel Tower…which clearly I meant the Empire State Building, DUH. Good thing they aren’t using my donated egg or else they risk having half of my dumb DNA. I kid, I kid. But really…

They ordered so much food and I loved every bit of it. 4 appetizers and an 8 course dish which included a 36oz sirloin and rice cake dumplings, and chicken wings, and kimchi, and fried potatoes, and mixed greens, and teriyaki flank steak and more. It was all too good. And of course they paid for it all. They also bought Kylan a very thoughtful gift - New York chocolate and a Japanese eraser. They are seriously going to be the BEST parents.

After dinner was done we drove around to visit the Eiffel Tower... I mean Empire State Building as well as Carnegie Hall, and Central Park. But we didn't go into the park because it was dark and we are ignorant helpless rural people. Can someone please tell me why New York City smells like piss?

All in all it went really well and I think it helped ease Matt’s nerves regarding this whole process but the next day during the medical screening, we were back to square one with Matt’s anxiety levels. More to come on that in another post….