The Matching Process

I’ve been matched!

This part of the process is truly so beautiful. The agency I am working with has years of experience to make sure the couple you are matched with is a good fit. They use my answers to the psychological test combined with their notes on my general demeanor and personality collected via the screening calls to pair me with a couple (also known as the intended parents or IPs). This couple goes through a similar process in order to get matched with the surrogate.

The IPs receive a profile of only one potential surrogate with photos and a bio that meets their requirements and matches their lifestyle. For example, during the screening process I was asked if I would be comfortable terminating a pregnancy at the IPs request due to abnormalities, down syndrome, etc. Despite my internal struggle to agree to this clause, ultimately I felt it was not my choice here. This is their child and I cannot make that decision for them. I also requested for a couple that was hoping to transfer only one embryo (although I understand an embryo can split in cases of identical twins) so that I wasn’t committing to carrying twins.

The day I received my first match I had just dropped Ky off at summer camp and felt a wave of emotions. This shit is getting real.  The couple was adorable. They hiked, skied, and loved to vacation in the Swiss Alps. SIGN ME UP. There was only one problem, they were international and their US clinic that I would need to travel to for medical screening and embryo transfer was in Las Vegas. I asked for clarification regarding how often I would need to travel and ultimately decided this wasn’t the best fit for me. So I requested another profile, just to compare, but was told that I need to pass on this couple before being shown another. After a few days of going back in forth with what I should do, I went with my gut and requested a new match.

Due to the confidentially agreement I have with the new couple I have been matched with I am unable to share much about them but they are perfect. My Skype call with them gave me chills. They’ve been wanting a child for almost a decade now but life got in the way/wanted all ducks in a row before becoming parents. So now in their 40s, they feel more than ready. Watching them get emotional over the idea of having a child of their own confirmed to me that I was making the right choice. We just clicked. And the best part? They live in NYC so their clinic is much closer and feasible for me and Matt to travel to.

I waited patiently all day to hear a response back from the agency to see if they wanted to move forward with me. I wasn’t going to be that girl emailing first ;) Fortunately, my program coordinator said they LOVED me and would like to move forward. And now the journey to make a baby for two complete strangers really begins…